Shudda Gone To…

I don’t know if your friends are a little like mine, possibly in some ways, friends can be great assets, and also, some can be a bit of a pain now and again. I have one, who is always there to offer late advice. By which, I mean, no matter what I buy, I should always have gone somewhere else…

“I bought a pair of shoes”!

“Where from”?

“The shoe shop”

“Oh the shoe shop.. you shouldn’t have gone there… you should have gone to the discount shoe shop”!

In fact, I am pretty sure, if  I went into a shop, and the shop paid me for purchasing, and gave me free shopping for life… my friend would know of a better deal. Kind of annoying really, but that’s friends…

I found a washing machine, after some Internet surfing. I found a Zanussi one, from the Planet Zanussi no less. Comet had an offer on, which reduced a £450 washing machine down to £229.99… With a 1200 spin speed, Eco this that and the other, and a large 8kg drum… Bargain! I thought to myself… that’s the one for me!

I reserved it on-line, just in case they have an Internet price and a shop price… and when Matty finished work, we took the drive to Comet. Now, as you may know, Comet and PC World are the same company, and our store has both under one massive, huge roof. You can buy anything electrical, Apple computers, TV sets, cameras, kettles, fridges… anything you can think of.

Show Matty a gadget, and he is enthralled, so we wandered the aisles looking at… everything! We stood in front of a few 3D TV sets, with our goggles on… riding the rapids, watching football… Actually, it’s pretty amazing, although, the goggles are a bit off putting. I think I would scare the cat… but hey, nice idea. We looked at docking stations and speakers, we looked at stuff we already have. We wandered around for an hour!

Anyway, finally we went to the pay desk, and after establishing my order, two teenagers wheeled the washing machine over… we paid, and the two teens loaded it into the rear of the van. They didn’t say anything to us, like “Thanks” or “Goodbye”,  because teens don’t, it’s just too much for them to cope with.

I got the idea, that this washing machine was pretty heavy, because when we sat in the van, we had a view of the stars. Not so much like sitting in a van, more like sitting in a Space Shuttle waiting for blast off. OK, I exaggerate… we couldn’t see any stars, it was a little cloudy. Despite the weight in the back, and my little van stating… “Jeez you’re kidding me”, we arrived home in one piece, safe and sound.

Before any lifting could commence, we decided to eat, so for the second evening in a row… we went to the pub for tea.

The first job, was to remove the old washing machine, which means turning off the water supply to the two hoses… Matty got into the cupboard under the kitchen sink… and broke the first tap off with his fingers, passing me a chunk of mangled plastic. Apparently, it was a bit stiff… but now, it was also… a bit broken! No problem though, we disconnected the pipes… flooded a reasonable size of the kitchen floor, and then began the big move. I mopped up the flood with a couple of towels, and soon the old washer was out of the way. Around this time, Matty remembered it was almost 9pm…

“Can we watch Hustle… it’s the last one ever”!

I made a coffee for us both, and we sat to watch Hustle. In the meantime, because things had been moved around in the kitchen, MollyCat was voicing her displeasure. Her bowl had been moved, and things were just not “So”!

Hustle took us to 10pm, and the new washing machine was still in the rear of the van. Matty wanted to point some things out…

“This washing machine is going to be heavy… like it’s going to weigh a ton”!

“Hhhhhhmmmm”

“Well, what I am saying is… will you be able to lift it”?

“Not on my own”!

“No, will you be able to lift one end”?

“I dunno… I’ve not lifted it yet”!

“Right… We need a plan”!

“OK… What’s the plan”?

“First of all… We get it out of the van… Then, we need to get it to the kitchen door… OK”!

“That’s not a plan Matty… that’s just stating the blindingly obvious”!

Plan A… Part 1 went quite well, the washing machine came out of the van without any problem…

“What do those arrows mean Matty”?

“They mean… This way up”.

“They’re pointing at the foor”!

“It’s OK, don’t worry, they’re only a guide, they’re not important”!

“You sure”?

“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s just upside down, no worries”!

Plan A Part 2… The washing machine, being upside down presented a problem…

“If we tilt it to me, this is the heavy end, will you be able to lift the light end off the floor”?

“No Matty, coz that’ll mean me lifting the whole thing”.

“Well I’ll tilt it to you then”!

“No, coz that’s too heavy too… why don’t we both support it and roll it over”?

“Good idea”!

Two roll overs and it was the right way up… Phew

“OK… so on 3 we lift and we walk and we don’t stop till we get to the kitchen door… Ready”?

“Ready”!

“Lets go… Lift”!

“Matty… we didn’t go very far… what’s up”?

“One of us didn’t walk”!

“I think that was me… OK shall we try again”?

The kitchen door seemed miles away, but we got there, eventually…

“Right Saz… now all we have to do is lift it over the doorstep… it’s only six inches, so after 3 we lift”!

“OK, I’m ready”!

“Why aren’t you lifting”?

“Coz you said after 3… and you didn’t count to 3″!

“Fuck… right 1,2,3 lift”!

“That was a bit quick… slow ‘em down”!

” 1….. 2….. 3…..”

“You didn’t say lift”!

Thankfully, the new washer only has one hose… there is only an inlet for cold water, so the hot tap, which Matty broke wasn’t needed. After a short while, and much swearing, it was hooked up and put in place.

“Shall we test it, just to make sure it doesn’t leak anywhere”?

“OK, I’ll wash the two towels I mopped the floor with”.

So, I put some washing powder in the draw, added a little splash of fabric conditioner in the tray too, threw the two towels in, and pressed the “Eco wash button”. The machine jumped into action, and little LED lights came on, and as it took in water, there seemed to be no leaks. We celebrated with a cup of coffee, while comparing our new arm length… mine sweep the floor now… Jeez that machine was heavy!

We curled up on the sofa, while the machine did it’s wash, and I read the instruction booklet…

“Shit! Matty, listen to this”!

“What’s up”?

“Before using the Eco setting for 40 degree wash, first of all, fill the tray with 2 litres of water, and do a full hot wash with the machine empty. This ensures the Eco valve is opened before proper use”!

“What does that mean”?

“I dunno, but I put it on an Eco wash and this says some valve should be open”!

“Well it’s working OK… it’s going around isn’t it”!

Two hours and 15 minutes later, it was still going around, by then it was 2am… and I could hear it from bed…

Saturday morning, the wash had finished, I have no idea how long it took, but the two towels looked dizzy! Clean, but dizzy! So, after doing one wash through the night, I decided to go by the book, and go through the “Pre wash set up guide”!

My friend sent a text… and I mentioned the washing machine…

“Hey, new washing machine, should have been £450… reduced to £230… bargain”!

“Where from”?

“Comet”.

“You should have tried Appliances on-line”!

And this is where I came in, it doesn’t matter if I bought one for 50p… she would still say… “Shudda gone somewhere else”!

On a plus point, I can give £70 back to my folks… because, I think I got a bargain!