I Wanna Baby

My name is Sarah, and I am a JellyBabyHolic, it’s been three weeks since my last Jelly Baby.

Why are the things we like, never any good for us? Chocolate. I love chocolate. I could melt chocolate and pour it into a bath and just lie in the stuff for days. Jelly Babies dipped in Nutella… It gives them little choccie hair styles. Amazingly yummy, yet so so so so bad!

Choccie and Jelly Babies make your teeth fall out, they make you spotty and ugly, and make your bum huge and wobbly… and massive! And that’s no good, not good at all. These are the things I tell myself, in order to put me off just pouring a whole bag af Babies down my throat in one go. Then of course, there is the mad sugar rush, which makes me manic… and nobody likes me when I’m in one of my manic spells. I get all hyeractive, and get on peoples tits with my hyperactivity.

So… One Jelly Baby per day is my ration at the moment until I am back on track… back to normal shape. Do you know how hard that is? Just one little teeny tiny Jelly Baby! I can tell you… It’s hard!

Even just writing about Babies, and choccie, and Baby heads dipped in hazelnut choccie makes me squirm… I want a Baby! Now!

I was driving behind a bus on Monday, might as well have parked my car and got on the damn thing… the speed it was going. On the rear of the bus, an advert for some spray, which helps smokers give up cigarettes. When they want a ciggie, they spray this shit on their tongues… Maybe someone should make one for Jelly Babies, or a patch or something.

It’s taken nearly a month of running, doing stupid amounts of exercises at home, lifting stupid weights in the gym, just to get back to where I was before Christmas. One week of excess, munching on choccie, mince pies, big dinners, numerous bottles of wine and Jack and Coke, and Gravity knows what else, has taken all of January to burn off.

7 days of piggery = 24 days of sluggery.

And you know what? Not a soul has noticed… not one! I worked last week, and got told I “Looked good” once or twice, and even when I said in reply… “Noooo…. I’m really fat and wobbly and horrid, and I look like a mince pie with turkey legs”, I just got laughed at.

I went to the gym on Monday, and I am almost back to where I want to be, just a couple of pounds over my “Happy weight”, so I celebrated with one Baby in the car afterwards. I am just a bag of sugar in weight overweight… Yay! Have a Baby!

I have been stealing hours. Monday afternoon I stole one short hour, and did some music sorting. I also stole another after University Challenge. TV was rubbish on Monday night, so I did something constructive instead.

I have been learning, what is known as a “Walking Bass Line”. Basically, it’s a really useful bass guitar riff, which is used and used again, in so many blues songs. You will have heard it so many times, possibly without even knowing, but once learned and mastered, it can be altered and modified to suit many tunes.

I have been working from a tab for 12 bar blues… Matty reckons it is written in some secret Martian Code… It’s just a simple Tab. So if you’re interested… here’s a copy.